The Long Story of Midnight Candle

Midnight was born out of my fascination with the universe. How does everything work on Jupiter, or Mars? What is that bright object I can see at night?

My first proper introduction to the solar system came from The Secret Lives of Planets by Paul Murdin. It's where I learnt so many interesting facts that completely changed my perspective. Mercury is the most difficult planet to observe because it stays so close to the Sun. Jupiter is so massive that the Sun doesn't actually stay perfectly stationary because of Jupiter's gravitational pull. Even Earth's seasons exist because of the tilt of our axis. These were things I had never really stopped to think about before.

But long before I had the patience as an adult to sit through books and hours of documentaries, I remember being a little kid who was completely confused by the difference between planets and stars. What do you mean the bright things in the sky aren't all stars, and some of them are actually planets? Even "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" isn't entirely accurate. It should really be "Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars... and Planets, Moons, Galaxies, and Plenty of Other Astronomical Objects."

I'm very much an amateur when it comes to stargazing. I don't own an impressive telescope or expensive equipment, and I don't keep up with astronomical events or know what I should be looking for throughout the year. What I appreciate the most is much simpler than that. When everything becomes dark and I look up at the sky, I feel so small. Crushingly small.

The thought that something which looks like a tiny bright dot in the sky is millions or even billions of miles away, and is actually hundreds or thousands of times larger than Earth, septillions of me could fit inside some of these "tiny" objects I can see. It completely blows my mind. 

It puts everything into perspective at the same time.

When I go down this rabbit hole, I start appreciating my small earthly problems. Boo hoo, I've got work in the morning. I have a client meeting that I'm dreading. I still haven't done the laundry.

Of course, I know there are people experiencing unimaginable suffering and tragedy every single day. Thinking about the universe doesn't make those things disappear. If anything, it reminds me how fortunate I am, and how grateful I should be for the life I get to live.

Appreciating the starry night is also part of my belief that the magic of life exists in the little moments.

No matter what kind of day anyone has had, the Earth keeps spinning into darkness and reveals the lights in the sky, every single day. For the longest time, I completely took that for granted.

Living in the UK, where we're much further north, winter sunsets happen at around 4:30pm. It makes a lot of people miserable because we're naturally drawn towards bright, sunny days. Ironically, I've found myself having the opposite problem in summer. The sky doesn't properly darken until after 10:30pm, and by then I'm usually in bed. I actually miss seeing the stars.

Winter has become so much more enjoyable because I've learnt to appreciate the night sky, along with all its magic, myths, and the fascinating entanglement between us tiny humans and the unimaginably massive astronomical objects scattered throughout the universe.

The walk home from the station after a long day at work changed from, "Ugh, this sucks," to, "That's Jupiter. That's Mars. That's Venus."

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Stars have always given people direction. Not just me, but countless civilisations and cultures throughout history. Astronomy has played a huge role in giving us direction, both literally and spiritually.

Astrology isn't just a little girl's hobby. (I use that phrase intentionally because I think it's often dismissed in a way that reveals how society tends to trivialise things associated with women.)

A lot of people would say they don't care for something so intangible and non-scientific when it comes to understanding themselves. But I think if it's approached with an open mind, whether it's objectively "true" becomes less important. (what counts as truth? Is it only the things that science can measure? Or can something be true because it helps you understand yourself in a way that feels meaningful?)

For me, astrology works best as a mirror. It gives me an opportunity to look at parts of myself that I might otherwise avoid. That's where I think its value really lies.

For example, I'm a Taurus, and according to astrology I'm stubborn.

If someone had said that to my face, I probably would have taken it as criticism and reacted with strong denial. But somehow, reading it on an astrology website feels much lighter and easier to digest.

And honestly, I am very, very stubborn.

Realising that has helped me become more aware of it, and I've genuinely tried not to let my stubbornness stop me from receiving better things in life. 

I also like checking astrology at the end of the day, rather than before it starts.

I don't do it to find excuses. I'm not reading my horoscope thinking, "Ah yes, Jupiter was in retrograde, that's why I completely messed up my presentation." I believe I have a lot more control over my life than that. In fact, I think astrology becomes counterproductive if it's used to excuse mistakes that are actually within our control.

Instead, I use it as a tool for reflection.

Maybe something unpleasant happened during the day. Maybe I reacted poorly to something. Reading my horoscope afterwards sometimes gives me a different way of looking at that experience. Whether I agree with it or not almost doesn't matter. It simply creates a moment where I stop and think about myself.

If I didn't have this little habit of checking astrology, I probably wouldn't make space for that kind of reflection. It's so easy to finish work, jump on the train home, put my headphones on, blasting Taylor Swift, switch to autopilot, and stare out of the window as London slowly turns into Brighton.

I'd encourage anyone who's never had their birth chart read to give it a go (birth chart will give you a more comprehensive reading than just the one prominent reading for where your Sun was the month you are born). There are plenty of great websites that will generate one for free, or even better, share your chart with ChatGPT, or another generative AI, and have a conversation about it.

The goal isn't to find absolute truth, but introspection.

Some of what you read in your birth chart might validate feelings you've already had about yourself, almost giving you permission to fully embrace who you are. Other parts might challenge you. Like being stubborn, in my case.

That's the kind of feedback that might feel too harsh if it came from someone else. But because I actively chose to seek that understanding, I was much more open to hearing it.

Intention makes all the difference, it made the hard pill much easier to swallow.

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Midnight embodies my appreciation for the night and my deep fascination with everything it allows us to see.

As someone who does her best work after dark, I love those evenings when the radiator is on, I turn on my desk lamp, make myself a hot cup of tea, and completely lock in.

Midnight was created as a reminder that inspiration exists everywhere, if we're willing to look for it. And to accompany us through the darker evenings, where we can connect with the universe outside of us, and the one within us.

Enjoy xx